Inevitable

All these years, I thought the same way too - but I guess I was missing some huge pieces in this puzzle.

I'd like to add two more inevitable items for me:

Number 1: Swami. Oh god. I don't know where to begin. I don't have words to explain it to you but I also know that I don't need words to explain it to you. You unlike nobody else on this planet knows this feeling. I know you do because I felt it through you and I still feel it through you.

All of this seems abstract but I know you know exactly what I mean. The last days have been painful but swami has been here. Sounds desperate from me but it's true.


Number 2: Mo babaa. While you could not be mine in the physical sense, I know mo babaa is mine and that's not gonna change. There's something about me and mo babaa that is purely magical. When I'm going through a rough time, just the thought of you is enough. When I get excited, I think of how mo babaa would react or whether she'd like it. I know that you're not here but I also know that mo babaa is always with me. While other things are temporary and made up of social constructs, you reside within me and swami holds us together.

It's been so many minutes, hours, days, weeks and months that I haven't heard from you. I have so many emotions running through my vein when I think of us, what you might be doing or how your life has changed these days. Nonetheless, you're still you and nothing has impacted my <3 for mo babaa. nothing. It's definitely not a rational human behavior - but I guess nothing has ever been rational when it comes to me and you. It's always been irrationally crazy with love - you just didn't know it.

I'm not even going to proof read what I wrote. I hope you're able to read it some day.